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The Sad Act of Giving that Comes with Secret Terms

June 14, 2020 by Nile Leave a Comment

I’ve always understood the term “Indian giving” as something that was given, but was taken back unfairly. It’s frowned on. It’s somewhat similar to there with being given something, and it being held over your head, when the giver isn’t in agreement with you on something completely dumb.

Just to be a little more correct on the term, Indian giver is:

Indian giver is an American expression, used to describe a person who gives a “gift” and later wants it back, or who expects something of equivalent worth in return for the item.

Wikipedia – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indian_giver


The Wikipedia article is actually pretty good, if you want to know a little bit more about the history of how that term came to be.

So, back to the issue…

If I’m giving something, I’d like it with no secret expectations or it being a coupon to be bitched at, on a later date. I’m grateful for a lot of things in my life, but for some, I can’t do anything right, and it’s stressful when people don’t look things up and find out the facts, but want to turn to petty behavior.

The term Indian giver or Indian giving, has changed a little over the years, and usually not used much for younger crowds. For me, if I’m giving something, I expect nothing in return. For the most part, I don’t have problems with people, as they are appreciative.

For the few that I do have issues with, it’s just been agonizing. It makes me look over my shoulder, and wonder: “So, when the next petty disagreement comes, am I going to get snapped at?”

How am I to know, when I walk into a situation, that someone had a bad day? I don’t, unless I’m being told.

At my age, I’m kind of tired of having to experience this with grown adults. You either give something and be happy, or don’t. Don’t make it a coupon towards a future bitch fest. Grow the fuck up!

Life is already rough for a lot of people. It’s the same thing as dangling a carrot in front of a horse, except you already gave it to the horse, but beat them anyway. It’s toxic and wrong.

What I’m usually guilty with, in this situation, is throwing back a reminder of what I have given.

Example Scenario

Scenario starts with an okay scene with conversation, until the other person says something that is false.

Me: “But if you look it up, you will see you need the things that we were talking about. If you don’t have it, then you won’t be able to do what you want to, in that situation.

Other Person: “You’re wrong. I can do this. You just want to argue and be right.”

Me: “It’s not about me being right. It’s just the facts. You will find out for yourself.”

Other Person: You’re wrong! You’re always treating me like shit. I should make you give back that thing that cost me a lot of money. You’re lucky I’m not doing that!

Me: “You’re lucky I haven’t given or gone out of my way to do things for you when you needed my help.”

My addition at the end of that conversation wasn’t needed, and should stop. In fact, the whole conversation was wrong. Instead, I should’ve sent information to them, and said to read that when they had time, so they knew what they needed.

The act of giving should never come with secret terms. It’s an act of love and friendship that should be cherished. In these times, with so many people, there’s so much pain, hate, and anger. If we can stop putting a price tag on the precious things that truly matter, we’d be better off.

Filed Under: Opinion Tagged With: gratitude, indian giving, rant

Everyone Wants My Email Address!!!

November 13, 2010 by Nile Leave a Comment

at-sign-thumbnailWhen I go shopping at the mall and some outlet stores, I hear from the sales clerk, “What is your email address?”

And I am like, “Huh? Why?”

“So you can be updated with new items from the store?” is the response I most commonly hear from the sales clerk.

I do understand why companies are jumping on the bandwagon to snag email addresses, but when I get tons of spam, even outside my server’s Spam Assassin and all the filters I have placed, it gets to be tiresome.

SO… I stopped giving out my email address at the stores.

And if you notice, a lot of stores, especially in the United States (usually within the mall and some select stores), they even ask for zip code. I am sure it has to do with how the company can gauge where they should be advertising, and also alert the main headquarters statistics on where their customers are coming from.

However, I am a bit leery of beign asked for my email address. I already spend enough time online that if I really wanted to know about what is new in a store, I would subscribe directly from the store’s website, rather than ask clerks to type in an extra field and make people wait a little longer. Give them a break.

I think if companies truly want to reach their shoppers, especially since there are so many people online, even on Facebook – invest in advertising to attract fans to subscribe. Use the power of social media, rather than make store sales clerks feel like they are encouraging spam. I feel sorry for them. The one time I worked for a retailer I refused to ask for email addresses and gave the general manager a logical response. It just cheapens the experience and really, all people want to do is buy what they took off the rack or shelf and go on to the next thing they want to do.

Filed Under: Opinion Tagged With: email address, peeves, rant, shopping

Disappointed In MTV

June 1, 2009 by Nile Leave a Comment

mtv-thumbnailNow, it is great that MTV allows people to push the envelope on a lot of things, but their awards have gone down the toilet… literally. Every year, a worse host than the last is chosen. Every year, more poorly scripted jokes than the previous. I almost wanted to cry when Kiefer Sutherland went below his status as an actor and did something I had not seen so badly done since before ‘The Lost Boys’ when introducing Ben Stiller. Truthfully, I like some of Stiller’s work, but not all of it.

However, the most disappointing of all if the fact that some of the awards issued were clearly not issued for the fact an actor or actress did a really great job, but because MTV sold everyone out. Now, I am sure there are people that are fans and love it to death… and ‘Twilight’ was an okay film, it just did not meet what it was played out to be. In fact, it was even more disappointing than the books, and I was not impressed.

I would rather watch ‘Interview with the Vampire’ and ‘Queen of the Damned’ despite the fact they do not follow the books well because the acting was far better than what was done in ‘Twilight’. There was a lot of awkwardness, long pauses, the fight scene… I really would have rather seen it go to Heath Ledger (bless his heart) who was a hell of a lot more compelling.

MTV pulled out people who were not as well seen, and did things that made them sink to a lower level. Why does this make me mad? Well, I grew up while MTV was developing. I watched it as a child and saw it grow. I accepted things like Jackass and Wild Boys, and people who were actually interesting and had experience and people could admit that they really liked their work.

MTV slowly turns into a teeny bopper world where it is okay to glamorize teen pregnancy despite the fact they have done commercials to inform people about STDS and to use condoms. Make up your mind MTV… are we going back to high school and encouraging children to get pregnant so they can show up on MTV, or will MTV have the balls to ignore the popular as they once did and go for REAL issues.

Sorry MTV, but I am no longer a fan unless you can grow up, instead of regress.

Filed Under: Opinion Tagged With: fail, MTV, rant

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