I’ve come to find that over the years, I’ve been oblivious to some things, especially men. It’s understandable as I grew up as a tomboy. I didn’t fret about my appearance except in making sure I had good hygiene and my clothes were washed.

In fact, after college, I was a bit confused about guys… and girls and why they were acting and saying things I simply had never heard before. In fact, I was kind of ticked off sometimes… and I had gone through 2 attempted rapes where I ended up beating the guy back. It wasn’t until my early twenties I finally was sat down by a friend and told that I needed to realize that I was gorgeous and these looks, words and actions people were doing were due to that.

I wasn’t fishing for compliments and I knew I wasn’t ugly or there wouldn’t been a lot of small children running from me. In fact, I am more to look for a compliment about my work rather than ask about myself. I was successful in what I set my sights on and learned to be confident without resting on looks.

Nothing Wrong With Being Nude

Poem written by Nile Flores in 2001

If I just stand here in the sunlight
and let the rays accentuate my curves,
– would you be turned on
– or would you see art just the way nature has made them?
In the shadows that I made
as my skin warms in the sun,
– there is perfection here,
but ONLY here.
If you think below the belt,
then this is nothing
– my naked body just a toy,
Please look at me without lust
and then I know you respect me
– knowing that this is just body
and that it doesn’t need to look wanton for you.
I see you only as a person
– not just for sexual pleasures.
I’m only curious of your thoughts
– hoping that you see me.
Just another of God’s creations
who appreciates the bare essentials
– because there’s nothing wrong in being nude.

Back in mid 2001, I had ended a long relationship that had also been long distance. The guy had frankly taken the cowards way out and just eased himself out of the picture without much of . We had originally met while working at Cedar Point and he had been on Work Visa from his country- Colombia.

He definitely had been a great guy. I had gotten to go to Colombia and see a lot of things that most people never get to see. We had a great time and I honestly had fallen in love with him. He came back to work each summer and for a time, after his second summer, he stayed longer and moved with a cousin in Wisconsin. That’s when our relationship oddly faded. I learned not to chase a guy from this relationship as I spent a month and a half emailing or trying to call him with no luck.

However, over half a year after the breakup or what I call a fade out (lol), I eventually dated and met the guy who I had eventually married (who is now my ex-husband.) My ex-boyfriend oddly started talking to me again and I had to set him straight that our relationship had been over for more than half a year. This is how this poem came about.

Taken

Poem written by Nile Flores in early 2002

Seconds.
Minutes.
Hours.
Days.
You promised to come back.

I always told you I was patient
but no longer- can I wait.
Loneliness is not me forté.
I hope you understand
that when you visit me again
I will have my own family-
our old relationship gone.

Though memorable it was,
do not be jealous of my love-
for it was not his fault
that I fell out of love with you.
It was your fault- putting me on a shelf.

For that was no fair.
Never to kiss you.
Never to wake at your side.

For your sake and mine
move on with your life quickly.
Find a girl that you will love
and never remember me again.
For it is only hair for her.

As an after thought-
you could have been the one,
but your priorities were elsewhere.
I do understand that completely.

So accept me as a friend
or do not speak forever more,
but never speak as a lover again.

I am taken.