Pixelled

Nile's pixelated life

Maybe Your Friend Doesn’t Need a Wingman for Dating

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Just because your friend or family member is single, doesn’t it mean that you push other single or semi-single people on them, in hopes that they’d date. A for effort. F for execution. Ask first.

Sure, it’s nice to date someone, but it’s better on your own terms, rather than a friend or family member pushing another person on you, when your permission wasn’t given.

And definitely don’t push strangers from the bar on your single friends and family, because in most cases, it’s not going to be dating, and it’ll be a brief meaningless connection. Some of us single people don’t do hookups anymore, because we’re looking for something a little more substantial.

And for me, I get that the general intentions are good, but if I’m interested, I usually don’t need a wingman (or lady.) Others may be more shy, but still… get consent before throwing your single friends and family at others.

I realize people care, and want to see me happy, but I am actually happy by myself. Eventually I’ll be able to share that with someone else, at the right time. My happiness isn’t based on being with someone.

Online Dating: What Not to Use for a Profile Pic

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Online dating is not as easy as it seems. I think more people hookup on Facebook than some of the online dating sites. And there’s a reason for it- most of the guys that participate have no fucking clue on how to fill out their profile or even care. And usually its because they aren’t really serious. The ones that are, take time to fill out their profile, post decent pics, and don’t include “hookups” as part of it.

For the others, I’m not sure if they gave up, but here’s some things no to do specifically in regards to uploading profile pics to an online dating profile.

1 Don’t use Snapchat filters that really distort your face or cover it.

No one wants to see you as a puppy or kitty for your main profile pictures. It’s cute, but people want to see your face. If you do use a filter, use ones that do little to alter your face. If you’re male, probably not going to win any points with other men or women.

2 Don’t be an asshole and post a pic of yourself flipping off people.

It’s not cool. In fact, you look like a dick.

3 Your Halloween costume might be awesome, but post it in other places.

Some online dating sites allow you to upload pics into different albums, and even allow you to connect to Facebook and Instagram. Utilize those types of areas to show off.

4 Don’t dress like a slob.

You’re trying to get a date. Unless the dating site is to attract other slobs, you need to dress decent. You don’t have to have a suit and tie, or a dress, but you should be cleaned up. Most people are trying to look for others who look like they take care of themselves.

5 Tame your facial hair.

Got a beard or mustache, or unruly eyebrows? You don’t need to look clean-cut, but take care of that facial hair. You might not think your beard looks bad, but if it looks like birds nest in it, and looks like it’s not well kept, no one is going to think you’re a catch. Online dating is not a “it is what it is” kind of thing. If you feel like that, then you don’t care enough about yourself or are willing to try to take some care.

6 Put some clothes on!

Sure, your washboard abs or even if you have a semi-decent body might attract people, but if you’re looking to date, and not do the hookup, put some clothes on for your online dating profile pics.

7 When it comes to your online dating profile pic, keep your main ones free of other people and animals.

Yes, even if you have a photo with your mom or sister or cousin or brother or dad… don’t use those. Your potential partner isn’t looking for those, and sometimes it deters people from your dating profile. If you’re a guy, and have a hot gal pal for a bestie, you’re probably going to send the wrong message. A lot of times that message could be that the viewer may believe you’re attached and looking for more partners, or you’re a player. Yeah, it seems dumb, but a lot of people overthink these things. Keep it simple, so you eliminate any potential issues. (On the other hand, you can utilize it to weed out red flags, like paranoia or jealousy issues.)

Also, don’t add your pet to it. They aren’t dating your pet. You can always include those in the spots where the dating site allows you to share more pictures. Tip: Make sure if you do have pictures with other people, to label or add descriptions to them if the dating site allows this.

So, these are just a few things I’ve seen with dating profile pics, that probably shouldn’t be done.

What’s a turn off for you, when you’re looking at dating profile pics?

Dating and The ‘No Filter” Excuse

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I don’t mind people who have no filter, but there has to be some form of self control. Just because you think it, doesn’t always means you have to share it. In fact, I’ve noticed a lot of people make an excuse that they have ‘no filter’. No, you don’t have any self control, and may even on some level, lack some respect for others.

I’ve learned over the years, that you’ve got to pick and choose your battles. This extends to putting on a filter, when I know I have no filter. I know that am very opinionated and have a strong will.

However, I’ve been really irked with the male dating pool, in regards to ‘no filter.’ This no filter lifestyle involves saying inappropriate things before the 1st date, and asking questions that shouldn’t be asked until later on. Example: Complimenting someone’s boobs or making very sexually charged comments are not appropriate in the first stages of dating… unless you’re a person that doesn’t mind that type of talk.

Sure, communication is important in any relationship, but there’s a right place and a wrong place for things. Honestly, I’d think if a someone was trying to date, they’d be a bit more respectful. I’m really disappointed by the behavior.

The last conversation I had with a date, that turned out that they weren’t old fashioned, but wanted to know way more than I wanted to tell them. They also were unhappy that I wouldn’t open up to them more, even though I’m a pretty transparent person.

Being transparent doesn’t mean that you have to answer everything right away, nor does it give another person a right to bully you into answering things about you, that they’ve not earned the right to know.

I think they missed the memo on what dating was, and were more about hooking up.

Well, if someone just started dating me, talking like a sexual deviant makes me want to stay reserved, and I’m sure many others feel that way too.