Pixelled

Nile's pixelated life

Online Dating: What Not to Use for a Profile Pic

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Online dating is not as easy as it seems. I think more people hookup on Facebook than some of the online dating sites. And there’s a reason for it- most of the guys that participate have no fucking clue on how to fill out their profile or even care. And usually its because they aren’t really serious. The ones that are, take time to fill out their profile, post decent pics, and don’t include “hookups” as part of it.

For the others, I’m not sure if they gave up, but here’s some things no to do specifically in regards to uploading profile pics to an online dating profile.

1 Don’t use Snapchat filters that really distort your face or cover it.

No one wants to see you as a puppy or kitty for your main profile pictures. It’s cute, but people want to see your face. If you do use a filter, use ones that do little to alter your face. If you’re male, probably not going to win any points with other men or women.

2 Don’t be an asshole and post a pic of yourself flipping off people.

It’s not cool. In fact, you look like a dick.

3 Your Halloween costume might be awesome, but post it in other places.

Some online dating sites allow you to upload pics into different albums, and even allow you to connect to Facebook and Instagram. Utilize those types of areas to show off.

4 Don’t dress like a slob.

You’re trying to get a date. Unless the dating site is to attract other slobs, you need to dress decent. You don’t have to have a suit and tie, or a dress, but you should be cleaned up. Most people are trying to look for others who look like they take care of themselves.

5 Tame your facial hair.

Got a beard or mustache, or unruly eyebrows? You don’t need to look clean-cut, but take care of that facial hair. You might not think your beard looks bad, but if it looks like birds nest in it, and looks like it’s not well kept, no one is going to think you’re a catch. Online dating is not a “it is what it is” kind of thing. If you feel like that, then you don’t care enough about yourself or are willing to try to take some care.

6 Put some clothes on!

Sure, your washboard abs or even if you have a semi-decent body might attract people, but if you’re looking to date, and not do the hookup, put some clothes on for your online dating profile pics.

7 When it comes to your online dating profile pic, keep your main ones free of other people and animals.

Yes, even if you have a photo with your mom or sister or cousin or brother or dad… don’t use those. Your potential partner isn’t looking for those, and sometimes it deters people from your dating profile. If you’re a guy, and have a hot gal pal for a bestie, you’re probably going to send the wrong message. A lot of times that message could be that the viewer may believe you’re attached and looking for more partners, or you’re a player. Yeah, it seems dumb, but a lot of people overthink these things. Keep it simple, so you eliminate any potential issues. (On the other hand, you can utilize it to weed out red flags, like paranoia or jealousy issues.)

Also, don’t add your pet to it. They aren’t dating your pet. You can always include those in the spots where the dating site allows you to share more pictures. Tip: Make sure if you do have pictures with other people, to label or add descriptions to them if the dating site allows this.

So, these are just a few things I’ve seen with dating profile pics, that probably shouldn’t be done.

What’s a turn off for you, when you’re looking at dating profile pics?

Online Dating: Fill Out Your Profile!

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All these online dating sites are suppose to be for people to get to know each other, and see if they are compatible. However, a lot of cases, people aren’t filling out their profiles.

It’s not cool to leave it blank, or put some non-chalant cool looking phrase. A lot of people complain about not getting contacted, but a lot of it boils down to what you put or don’t put in your online dating profile.

Sure, maybe you look like a hot babe in those profile pics, but that’s only attracting the shallow. If you’re not, that blank profile isn’t going to work in your favor. And frankly, even if you’re hot, it’s hard to find out if you’re a dickhead right away, if no one can pick up anything from lack of answers in your dating profile.

Think about it…

You put a profile together and it’s just nice picks, and a one-liner. Or maybe you encounter someone’s dating profile that is set up that way. Maybe you set up a date, and then find out you wasted a couple hours of your time with someone you have absolutely nothing in common with. It’s one of those dates where you or they try to keep it from being more awkward, by filling it with conversation that neither person is interested in, but both are doing the smile and nodding.

This situation could’ve been solved if you just filled out your online dating profile a little more thoroughly. You don’t have to share the whole kitchen sink about yourself. However, you should make sure to share some interests and a little bit of yourself, so you can have better connections with the people you date or even hookup with.

If it’s a matter of being shy or privacy, your online dating profile doesn’t have to have specifics. You don’t need to share what car you’re driving, your address, names of friends and family, and other very personal information. Just share enough that allows people some insight of who you are.

For example, I like to list some of my favorite music and movies. I also explain my overall personality, and a bit of what I do for a living. For me, as a public speaker, I’m not shy about myself, and I’m really transparent, so I probably share more than others. However, I don’t give really personal information out.

If you want better dating prospects, spend an extra few minutes filling out your online dating profile.

Batshit Crazy Parents, School, and Fire Lane Rules

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One of the things, as a parent and an aunt who helps with her siblings kids, is taking kids to school. I’ve always been taught to question all things. I’ve also learned to let people know when they might be setting a bad example, like parking in the fire lane.

I don’t like to get into arguments or drama, but some people make things too personal. For example:

The elementary school that my nieces and nephew go to (and same one that my son went to), I take the kids to school. The school they go to has a few parking spots on the one side of the building, but 2 of them in particular are labeled as the fire lane, and no parking.

The parents at the school have taken it under their own rules that they can park in that spot. Now, I get it, parents have to drop off and pick up their children, BUT the fire lane is required by law to remain free for emergency vehicles to be able to get as close as possible to the building to get to the problem… whether it’s a fire or someone with a serious injury, or even a kid with asthma that just won’t go away and the episode is getting worse.

Fire lanes are not for parents to sit in for up to 5 minutes, for picking up or dropping off. This includes handicapped individuals. In this case, the school does have some handicapped parking spots, but they are few and not quite where they should be. Believe me, I’d be on the petition to get a spot on the one side of the building if it could be done.

Through this past semester, I’ve told some of the other pre-K parents that there was no parking in the Fire Lane. The response was to brush me off or give me a nasty glance. I get it, you want to get to your kid, but in the case, and I would hope it would never happen, that some other kid is bleeding to death, and your vehicle is in the way… don’t be surprised that the car is pushed out of the way. Every second in an emergency situation is vital.

So, as I’m writing this, I have to put the full story together…

So, the incident that sparked this post, was that I encountered a parent that had a handicapped kid and I only made a glance at their car and shook my head. The parent decided to verbally attack me, so I replied back to let them know the importance of keeping the fire lane open.

The parent told me that the principal said that they could park in the fire lane (keyword… “fire lane”) and I looked at them disbelievingly. In no way the principal would’ve said that. They know that it has to remain open. It’s not acceptable in any reality to make up the rule that it is completely okay to park in the fire lane. It is the same as someone parking in the handicapped spot, just to go into a store for 5 to 10 minutes. For years, my grandmother had extreme incontinence and the closer you could park her car to the store front, the less likely she’d have to go in her adult underwear. That’s another thing I’m passionate about.

However, the parent decided to take it personally after I posted to the city’s Facebook Page, and then go in the next day to talk with the school’s principal. In fact, by the time I got there, the principal already knew about it.

The post has since been taken down because of drama. A different parent commented, not knowing the full situation, only 1 part… thinking I targeted one parent specifically, when it’s never been just one parent. As I said earlier, I have said this to several parents.

The lady who decided to post about me, and even used my legal name (probably to feel important and probably believing that I’m not transparent about my legal name… come on, I speak at conferences across the United States… I have to be – duh!) took it upon themselves to do some light researching on me and post a few untruths. There was a disturbing non-fact that I can’t decide if it was something heard through the grapevine or someone I know, but it was creepy enough that I don’t want to talk about it here.

I’m not a negative person, but there are specific things that I think are important, and sometimes when I point it out, I can be blunt. But I don’t complain every day, nor am I a bitter person. I enjoy my days and what I do. I donate a lot of my hours helping people, sometimes way too much.

Now, in this situation, I get it – they don’t know me. I don’t know them. In the 2 months of this school semester, I’ve been in line about 5 times, and I’m usually last. I think I was one of the first to arrive… one time. Honestly, I like to be last because I don’t want to have to look at people parked in the fire lane. Could I ignore it? No… this is important. My dad has been in the medical field since I was a baby, and I’ve witnessed quite a few incidents that first responders couldn’t get to the injured person in time. I don’t want to witness it again. Even though the school that my nieces and nephew go to is small, it still doesn’t give an excuse for ANYONE to block the fire lane for ANY amount of time. For anyone to argue that, no matter if your kid is physically or mentally disabled. Rationalizing that an emergency would never occur, or that the ambulance or fire truck would never have a problem getting in on time to do what needs to be done, is just delusional. (If you’re an oracle or seer… well then, by golly, we’re lucky for your predictions.)

Honestly, I’d hope no parent or kids would ever experience seeing a child or staff member die at a school. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

I’m extremely disappointed in the response I received. I’m more than certain that if I tried talking to the parent, they’d still argue that they are in the right. It would be if I had only pointed this out to 1 parent, but this wasn’t the case.

That’s okay, I know the truth, and so do others.

In summary, what I ask, is to have more thought about the bigger picture, and more courteous to leave that area called the fire lane open, so we never have to face a serious and fatal emergency.