I’ve run into a lot of people in my life. I tend to like to help people a lot – acts of service. I tend to also be a gift giver, as one of my other love languages. I grew up a military brat, and it was sometimes tough moving and making new friends. It was tough leaving some great ones behind.
As an adult, I’ve tried my best to be a good person. I’m not perfect, but I also try to apologize and do better when I mess up. However, sometimes that will never be enough. Sometimes that friend is a more of an enemy or a frenemy.
It’s been hard at times to decide who is a friend and who is an enemy, as some people are disguised so well, that when you thought after being good friends for years, they drop the ball. Sometimes I miss the red flags, like when they want to try to talk down to me, or when they are so set in their ways, that they don’t want to experience new things to improve themselves.
It really sucks when all those good memories end up washed down the drain. It feels like someone died when they ghost you, because they were too cowardly to communicated what happened.
Because of my love languages, I’ve had a bad habit of allowing an imbalance in my friendships, and sometimes even my intimate relationships. I’ve had to learn and try to implement boundaries, to prevent this from occurring, and so I don’t feel like the person who is supposed to be my friend is exploiting my kindness.
Maybe they are having a hard time in their life? Maybe they put expectations on you that somehow you can’t fulfill? There’s only so many times you reach out to them until the extended silence is an indicator that you’ve become obsolete in their life.
What can you do? – Just leave them alone. It’s not your problem and you can’t control if they are stubborn enough to let a good long friendship go. No relationship, even in friendship is perfect. You can only wish them well, and go about living your own life.
If they really were your friend, they might come back. If not, find new friends that hopefully stay on board for a long time, and respect your boundaries.
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